RIP: Daddy The Pit Bull

Reader, I promise there is a new, non dog related post coming up very shortly, but before then I'd like to take some time and pay tribute to Daddy The Pit Bull who passed away on February 19th, 2010.

Daddy: The World's Pit Bull

I don't check e-mail over the weekend and I barely even browse the internet (it helps me keep my sanity by "unplugging" myself from the interweaving series of tubes that I love so much), so when I woke up Monday morning and read that Daddy the Pit Bull (from Cesar Millan's National Geographic Channel show Dog Whisperer) had passed away on February 19th the news was more or less a shock. Not a life changing, mind altering type of shock that caused me to sob uncontrollably while reassessing my place in this world, but the sort of quiet, calm shock that could only be reasonably expressed with a deep sigh and a shake of the head. "That's terrible," I whispered to myself in a vain attempt not to wake up my girlfriend, but she heard me anyway and asked me what happened. "Daddy died," I said. "Ooh, I'm sorry, baby. That stinks," was her pitch-perfect response before she rolled over and caught a few more minutes of shut-eye. My dog, Vinnie, was lying at the love of my life's feet, somehow taking up more space in the bed than I did the night before. I looked over at him, he looked up at me and I slid over to where he as laying and gave him a big hug and said, "don't you do that to me until I'm ready, buddy." He snorted, laid back down and slept until it was time for him to go outside.

My first impression of Daddy was that of a dog who would "mess you up," and not of the calm-submissive, perfect four legged friend that was actually on display week in and week out. I didn't know the intricacies of "dog speak" as well as I do now, so it was impossible for me to see anything but a giant, lumbering, block headed Pit Bull that was preternaturally blessed with a perfect demeanor. Six seasons of devoted fandom and several books later, I know now that Daddy was much, much more than a dog. He was an ambassador for the canine kingdom, but especially for one of the most ill reputed dogs in the entire world. Obviously, I'm referring to Pit Bulls and their heinous portrayal as vicious, man-eaters. While the pictures of Pit Bulls engaged in dog fights are horrifying, as are the images of people who have come into contact with the rare, wild and aggressive Pit, that doesn't mean the entire breed should be condemned as "second class canine citizens."

Daddy, with his amazing personality and slow, confident swagger had the ability to light up any room he sauntered in to, and after a while, and once the show's popularity began to sky rocket, it seemed as if the owners who contacted Cesar Millan for help with their dogs really just wanted to see Daddy. I don't blame them at all. Daddy was a force unto himself and rightly deserved the fan base he's accumulated over the years, because it's rare to see any dog act so perfectly. But, from personal experience with several Pit Bulls in my neighborhood - all of which have owners that put in a lot of time and effort with their dogs to balance them properly - I know that the great majority of Pit Bulls have the same confident self-awareness and calm presence that Daddy put on display week in and week out as Cesar's right hand "man."

Daddy never so much as growled at a dog that showed signs of aggression towards him, instead he would remove himself from the instability and wander around happily until the unstable pooch he was tasked to help calmed down, got into the right mindset and was ready to be a dog again. Then Daddy would work his magic, and it was always breathtaking to see a dog that could so easily intimidate the average human act like a meek, lovable pussycat in their presence - even, more remarkably, if they were nervous- because Daddy never seemed to mind. He always seemed to be looking up with those big eyes as if to say, "hey, man it's fine, I get it, I'll be here when you need me," and he was always their when he was needed. Whether it was rearing his protege Junior into another benevolent ambassador, or helping Cesar show other dogs what it means to be perfectly balanced and happy; Daddy always showed up, did his job and made the entire world forget he happens to come from a breed of dogs that is constantly and unjustly vilified for being people-aggressive. Which was his ultimate job and one which he did splendidly.

I don't have it in me to be long winded and overly explanatory, but if you want to read a great treatise on the mistreatment of Pit Bulls you can head over to Gladwell.com and read the brilliant article "Troublemakers: What Pit Bulls Can Teach Us About Profiling," by my favorite non-fiction writer, Malcolm Gladwell. It really sums up -perfectly- my feelings about Pit Bulls and other dogs that have been incorrectly labeled as "people aggressive," so, there you go. You're welcome.

In closing, let me extend my heartfelt thanks to Daddy for showing all of us what it means to be a truly balanced dog, and my condolences to the Millan family. I know what they are going through must be very difficult since Daddy has been with them so long and lived so closely with them. You are all in my thoughts, and again, thank you Daddy and Cesar for being such positive role models and helping to change the world one dog at a time.

Daddy and his protege, Junior. Perfect as always.


So long, Daddy. You will be missed.

Vinnie

If I seem a little dog crazy lately that's because I am. It's almost impossible not to be when you have a dog and you invest even the slightest amount of time and energy into fulfilling the relationship between you and your four-legged friend. Especially, since dogs live in the moment and the moment alone, when the reward is almost immediate and the accompanying sensation can often times be an overwhelming flood of pride and joy mixed together. While Vinnie, my girlfriend and I are on our daily walks together sometimes all it takes is a quick glance in his direction to see his smiling, determined face to know that she and I are doing everything we can to balance his existence and that he, in turn, has become much more than a pet to the both of us.

Aww...

I often wonder if I hadn't broken down and started watching The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan that fateful, hungover day with my roommates if I ever would have started thinking about owning my own dog. I'd thought about it, sure, but that didn't mean I was ready to own a dog let alone care for it properly and help it lead a balanced life. And, up until a few years ago, the only dog I would've considered owning would have been an English Bull Dog that I would have named Maximus; I would've adorned him with a spiked collar, sunglasses and a ripped muscle t-shirt and the two of us would have spent our afternoons together drinking beer, watching television, napping, eating potato chips and sitting on the front porch telling stories about the good old days when men were men and dogs were allowed to run for public office. Those fantasies quickly faded away as the ideal of the "lazy, couch potato" bull dog was quickly dispelled by more than a few episodes of The Dog Whisperer that dealt with bull dogs that were in the "red zone" state of either obsession or aggression. It didn't scare me that these dogs would go ballistic at the sight of a skateboard, basketball or obese man trying to ride a tractor, but it did shake me awake to the fact that hundreds of years of breeding for "bully tendencies" would not go away because I made my dog wear an ironic t-shirt. I knew, deep down, that if I owned my English Bull Dog before I was absolutely ready to own one I would hurt him more than help him; even though they can be a lazy breed, and they can be the ideal couch potato dog, I didn't trust myself to engender those characteristics in a dog just then. So, as is per usual, I focused my attention on focusing my attention towards something else and not a particular breed of dog that happened to aesthetically please me. (All of this, is in big part to listening to and absorbing the things that Cesar Millan teaches us every week on the National Geographic Channel) I stopped focusing on things like appearance and reputation and started focusing on energy.I waited for years before I knew I was ready to own a dog, and because I shifted my thinking away from a specific type of dog, I was free to go out into the local shelters in search of any dog that matched my energy; which is how I came to own Vinnie.

The first day I saw Vinnie at Lollypop Farm ( a fantastic animal shelter based in Fairport, NY) I passed him by. Another dog - a Great Pyrenees named Winnie - caught the attention of myself and my girlfriend because she looked like a polar bear, was laid back and very friendly towards us and anyone else that stopped by her kennel. Vinnie, on the other hand, just laid there looking miserable and wouldn't even respond when I crouched down to introduce myself to him; he wouldn't even look up at us. The love of my life and I were in a rush to get to a family party, but thought we had time to do a meet and greet with Winnie to see if she might be a match for us; however, the shelter was incredibly busy and all the handlers were off doing other pre-adoption counseling so we ran out of time and had to leave. As we were driving to my sister's house for a birthday dinner I fully expected to arrive at the shelter the following day to adopt Winnie and take her home. Still, the image of Vinnie laying in his kennel, looking sad, sore and out of sorts stuck with me and I couldn't get over his immense, natural beauty. "I think that husky was the best looking dog I've ever seen," I casually remarked as we drove away from Lollypop Farm.

The next morning I showed up at the shelter without my girlfriend (this much has gotten me into so much hot water I won't even get into the details about it, needless to say, men of the world, never adopt or buy a dog without the express -possibly written- consent of your loved one, it only leads to arguments and tension between you, I, for one, learned my lesson very harshly and still feel bad for excluding my saint of girlfriend from the decision making process thinking a "surprise" would be the way to go; learn from my mistake, reader) and, without even looking at other dogs, went right to the adoption counter and asked if I could visit with Winnie. "She was adopted this morning, but there are a lot of other, great dogs available that you can take home today," the very nice lady whose name I can remember informed me. I shrugged my shoulders, said "thank you," and went about walking aimlessly through the glass enclosed viewing/kennel areas of the shelter. I was not, in any way shape or form, ready for what happened when I made my way into the area where they were keeping Vinnie.

He was still there, in the same, miserable position I had left him in the day before and I wondered whether or not anyone had walked him recently. As I approached his kennel I said nothing and moved confidently without feeling bad for his plight and crouched down next to him without reaching out to pet him. I stayed like that for a few minutes, patiently waiting for him to react to me being in his space. The other dogs in his area were gradually quieting down - before they were going crazy, barking and yapping and jumping up against their kennels - and I made sure to wait until each dog in the room was, if not calm, than actively submitting to my presence (just like Cesar would do, I thought). Sure enough as soon as the room was ready and waiting, Vinnie picked his head up and looked at me. I looked at him. He stood up, wagged his tail and licked my hand in a very calm but alert way, and then he walked over to his water bowl to get a drink before coming back over to me for a little more attention. We spent a good five minutes there silently communicating back and forth before I stood up and went to the adoption desk to sign up for a meeting with what would be my future dog.

The second Vinnie entered the meeting room he was a totally different dog. I made sure to practice "no touch, no talk, no eye contact" while Vinnie sniffed out the room and, eventually, made his way over to me to say hello. He was limping around because he had spent so much time lying on his right hip that it had gotten sore, but I didn't let this bother me, and I knew if he walked it out a little more he would be fine. Sure enough, in a minute or two the limp was gone and Vinnie was sitting between myself and the two ladies who served as my adoption advisers waiting to see what would happen next. "He has a bit of a history," one lady told me wryly, "and he's scheduled to be put down this afternoon," she continued and at this point I perked up and said, "what do you mean?" She went on to explain that he and his old pack member - a 4 year old St. Bernard - were playing with a 3 week old Labrador puppy that one of the neighbors had brought over; which was a mistake. [*ATTENTION FUTURE DOG OWNERS - you should never, ever, ever buy a dog from a breeder that is willing to give it to you before it is, at a minimum, 8 weeks old. It's incredibly important for, among other things, their social and physical development! Puppies don't even open their eyes until they are about 2 weeks old, and any respectable breeder would never let her puppies go until they are, at least, 2 months old!* ] Anyway, the playing got out of hand between the two much larger dogs and the innocent little puppy, and without getting into the gory details, the St. Bernard accidentally killed the Lab while they were wrestling. Vinnie, in no way a completely innocent bystander in the whole situation mind you, was carted off with the St. Bernard as the aforementioned neighbors threatened legal action if the dogs weren't "taken care of." I stared directly at the shelter volunteers who were visibly tense around Vinnie and said, "eh, that's not a problem, but where's the St. Bernard?" I wasn't planning on adopting both, but I wanted to know how Vinnie's old pack member was doing, hoping I could get a read on his energy as well, the volunteers looked at me and said "he's getting prepped as we speak." Moments later, before I would walk Vinnie for the first time around Lollypop Farm's outdoor play area, I saw this poor, lumbering, beautiful dog walking the green mile to oblivion and my heart sank.

Here's the thing, future dog owners and pack leaders, you absolutely cannot let something like that sway your decision making process when you are about to adopt a dog. Whether they are brand new to the shelter or hours away from certain death should not alter your path at all. So, as hard as it was for me to block that image from my mind, I did my best to focus on the present while ignoring the emotions that were bubbling up inside me. I took a deep breath, cleared my head, attached the leash to Vinnie's collar and away we went, walking side by side for what would be the first of many, many times. It was an instant connection unlike anything I've ever felt with a dog before. Vinnie stayed on my side, rarely pulled and reacted when I corrected him, but he wasn't all sugar and spice and everything nice. He is, after all, a working dog with a tremendous amount of energy; which became obvious moments later when the leash was off and we started to play. I'd never seen a dog run like he ran and it was a gorgeous, edifying moment in my life, because as soon as I saw him running I knew he was my dog. It's one of those things that can't be explained, and I'm sure Cesar would agree that he felt an almost instant connection with both Daddy and Junior, but even the almighty Dog Whisperer can't account for the mystical moment when you know a dog is yours. It just happens and it's astounding the effect it has on a person mentally and physically. You just feel everything change around you. It really is magic.

Two hours later we were home together. I walked Vinnie around the neighborhood to get him used to the scents and sounds and after wards I went out to work in the backyard and Vinnie kept me company. My girlfriend got home, we argued and fought and I felt like a jerk for a while after, but eventually she came to love Vinnie as much, if not more than, I do. Now, almost a year and a half later the three of us are a very functional pack and I couldn't imagine living without him. Dogs are like that. You never really know what life is like until you try to live it with a dog. They have this uncanny ability to reflect your spirit. If I am in a bad mood, Vinnie is unruly. If I am frustrated, Vinnie is a jerk. If I am rushing around the house, late for work, Vinnie goes bananas and, usually, will knock down the gate blocking him from the kitchen the second we leave the house. However, flip that all around and the opposite is true. If I'm in a good mood, Vinnie is happy. If I am confident, calm and content, Vinnie is the same. If I take my time getting ready for work and go about my routine without rushing, Vinnie remains calm and usually sleeps until it's time to let him out for his morning bathroom break. It's truly remarkable that in order for me to be self aware all I need to do is look at my dog and see what emotional state is being reflected back at me. This has helped me immeasurably in my day to day life as it's allowed me to be much, much more in touch with what's going on inside my head.

This reflection tells me it's either time for a nap, or there is a piece of bacon on the window sill he doesn't want me to notice.

In closing: dogs are damn near perfect and can change your life for the better or for the worse depending on what you are willing to do to make sure they live a happy, healthy and balanced life. If you're wondering whether or not you're doing right by your furry best friend, all you have to do is pay attention to what he/she is telling you. Dogs are always communicating with us - even though we may not know it - and they pick up on everything we do, especially the energy and emotions were are projecting, so, if you're lucky enough to have a happy, healthy and balanced dog, the chances are you are a happy, healthy and balanced human! It's pretty much that simple, and so is your dog.

CoCo? No Mo.

First, we here at "Where the Wild Things Were Last Thursday Around 8" would like to extend our heartfelt condolences to Conan O'Brien, Andy Richter, Max Weinberg and the rest of the cast and crew of the recently disassembled Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. As most of my generation would hopefully admit, Conan O'Brien is and always will be our late night talk show host, and even though the format has become something of an afterthought to the coveted 18-39 age demographic that at one time fueled the late night ratings, it has become obvious to me that when Generations X and Y are called upon to show our support, we will do so in droves. Sadly, however, it was too little too late and Mr. O'Brien's far too brief a stint as the host of The Tonight Show has come to an end.

I wanted to wait until everything played out before I made any comments about the events of the past two weeks, because an overly optimistic part of me still believed that maybe - just maybe - NBC, Jay Leno and Conan would come to their senses and do the right thing; which, of course, didn't happen. Mr. Leno will be returning to The Tonight Show and Mr. O'Brien has been cut loose to do whatever he pleases - as long as it happens seven months from now - which, honestly, could be a good thing for everyone involved.

Conan, whom I have adored since I was old enough to stay up and watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien in the mid-90's, is not an ordinary late night host by any stretch of the imagination. Consider some of his most beloved characters like the "masturbating bear," the "horny manatees" and, his most famous co-creation, "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog," and it's obvious to even the casual observer that Mr. O'Brien's unique brand of comedy is not for everyone; which was part of the problem during his seven month tenure as host of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.

Older audiences tuning in hoping to hear familiar monologues with made-to-order jokes were not ready for the rubber faced funnyman to hop around the stage string-dancing while doing a horrible, yet uproarious, impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nor were they prepared to give Conan much of a chance, and, hey, I don't blame them. After nearly 20 years of the most watered down late night comedy possible (which, by the way, regularly trumped CBS' much more "edgy" (yeah, right the Top Ten Lists are now "edgy) David Letterman in the ratings war) why would viewers stick around for such a bizarre spectacle of silliness when all they want is to be told the same joke they thought of earlier that day while reading an article about Amy Winehouse? Even though NBC was hoping for Conan to tap into the highly sought after 18-39 year old demographic, it was as if they forgot that historically, that age group could care less about The Tonight Show, and once word leaked that NBC had asked Mr. O'Brien to "water down" his format to meet the needs of a broader audience most of us thought "well, there that goes," and after a few weeks of a very tame Conan, decided their late night viewing would be better spent elsewhere.

I blame myself and the generation I am a part of for the lack of support CoCo had up until his last two weeks of the show - which saw ratings sky rocket into unknown, late night territory - because we, more than any other group of people, should have been ready to watch and accept whatever television show Mr. O'Brien put forth to the general public, but we didn't. Instead, as is the usual with Generations X and Y, we got snarky almost immediately and dismissed Mr. O'Brien's efforts just as quickly; which is surprising when you consider Conan was a writer during the best seasons of The Simpsons and was almost unanimously adored by the same people who refused to watch him at 11:35 when he hosted Late Night with Conan O'Brien at 12:35. It's not that we didn't watch at all, mind you, it's that we didn't watch enough. I looked forward to my daily hour with Conan and crew, but it appears that I am in the minority and that frustrates me to no end.

I don't understand why people are so unwilling to accept the type of comedy that Conan O'Brien excels in; which is to say brilliant but silly at the same time. Especially after decades of Monty Python worship and the recent popularity boost seen by another smart-but-silly show named 30 Rock which capitalizes on the most absurd aspects of humor so keenly it almost seems realistic. Ah, but is that really the case? Turns out, what I thought would be more than stellar ratings after three straight years of taking home multiple Emmy awards and nominations that 30 Rock would be one of the most watched television shows going right now, but, oddly, it's not. Perhaps I am not as intuitive as I once believed, or maybe it goes back to that old political saying when the candidate you didn't vote for wins an election and, astonished, you proclaim "but everyone I know voted for him!" Could the niche that I live in be so tiny that it's co-inhabited by such a small amount of people? I mean, if 30 Rock wins any more Emmy's they are going to have to name the award after Tina Fey, but where are the viewers, and if they don't start showing up soon is NBC going to pull the plug? What about other NBC comedies I adore like Parks and Recreation, Community and The Office? How long will it be before the hatchet men set their gaze upon the best two hours of network comedy going right now? If what has happened with The Tonight Show is any indication it won't be that long before all my favorite shows are feeling the heat from their corporate overloads to do away with their specialized style of humor and open up to a broader audience. I shudder at the thought of Tracy Jordan being reigned in to accommodate the tastes of an audience that, if they haven't started watching already, most likely won't be watching NBC at 9:30 on Thursday's anyway. What about Parks and Recreation? That show, like The Office before it, is building a fan base slowly but surely with some of the strongest writing, performance and comedy I've had the pleasure of watching, but the ratings are down right abysmal by primetime comedy standards. Does this mean I should absorb as much Ron Swanson as is humanly possible over the next few months just in case P&R gets the axe due to low ratings at the end of year? Probably.

There was a time, way back before I can remember, when fledgling shows were given a chance to develop an audience and a voice, tone, structure and style over a period of time with the hopes that critical acclaim, or sheer force of will, would draw in an audience - any audience really-, but those days have passed us by, and the almighty "instant gratification" is what's required for networks to give shows breathing room to develop. Without that patience, and faith a little show about nothing named Seinfeld would have never been given the chance to flourish in it's second and third seasons the way it did after it's first season was, well, less than a stirring success. Now look at it, it's one of the most successful television shows of all time and when it debuted it registered as nothing more than a "blip" on most viewer's nightly radar. What about The Simpsons? The longest running animated sitcom in the history of the world went head to head against The Cosby Show when it first started gaining in popularity, and even though it didn't win week in and week it out, Fox never panicked, and let the show do what it was doing, and lo and behold, 20+ years later The Simpsons is still on the air and Bill Cosby is nowhere to be seen (well, on television at least).

That all being said, and as sad as I am to see Conan O'Brien leave The Tonight Show in order to make way for Jay Leno, I am not surprised at all by what transpired and, in fact, once I heard of the plummeting ratings for Mr. Leno's show and Mr. O'Brien's show, I knew something was going to happen. I just had no idea that the lead in (Mr. Leno's show) that continued to see it's ratings dwindle to the point of embarrassment, causing viewers to tune into other nightly news broadcasts on other networks in the process, would be the show getting the star treatment. From my perspective it all seems backwards. If the problem was a drop in ratings due to Mr. Leno's unsuccessful nightly experiment at 10:00, why did the network think it would be best to pander to Leno and not O'Brien? I suppose it would be best to look at Mr. Leno's overall success at 11:35; which, as much as I loathe the man right now, was substantially impressive. For all his faults, Mr. Leno does indeed strike a chord with the older demographic of viewers who love his "headlines" and his "Jay Walking," and I can't really say they are any more to blame than I am for having a strong affinity for watching Mr. O'Brien' s oft repeated "In the Year 3000" sketch. To each his own. Still, the logic behind the decision boggles my mind if it's based on traditional network maneuvering.

Jay Leno's show was getting hammered in the ratings. This led to more and more viewers changing the channel away from NBC on a nightly basis, and those same viewers were not changing the channel back to NBC to watch the evening news; which means those same viewers were most likely not watching The Tonight Show, which accounts for it's ratings failure, or at least that's how I see it. From what I understand, a "lead-in" show with high ratings is a sure fire way to ensure that any show following it will have a large "carry-over" audience that boosts ratings. This is why the show following American Idol every week always has ridiculously high ratings (even if it's terrible). The same can be applied to shows following Monday Night Football, The World Series or any other high profile event that is sure to draw in an audience almost despite itself. So, with that in mind, wouldn't it have made sense to do away with Leno instead of O'Brien? Evidently not.

Evidently, the powers that be over at NBC are much more committed to making Jay Leno happy than they are making Conan O'Brien happy, but to be fair they tried to come up with a solution that both men would agree to, the only problem is one of them didn't. I thought, after watching Mr. O'Brien for fifteen years or so that he would have accepted the shift, made light of it and continued on. I had no idea Big Red would show the gumption and integrity he did when he penned his now infamous letter declaring he would not accept the move to 12:05. It's what most of us would dream of doing in the face of such corporate mishandling, and it's something that I applaud Conan for doing. He showed guts and determination and a boat load of forethought. Mr. O'Brien knew it wouldn't be The Tonight Show as he had come to understand and adore it, but some bastardized version of the most successful franchise in television history that would be nothing more than a hamhanded attempt to fit too much TV into an hour and a half. ~sigh~ Still, I wish it hadn't happened and that I had Conan's goofy face to look forward to tonight and for many years to come.

I'm sure Conan O'Brien will end up on one station or another in September when he is literally free to go where he wants, and I hope, deep down, that the people who didn't tune in to NBC to see him nightly will follow him to whichever network he lands on. I know it's wishful thinking on my part, because who knows what will happen in the next seven months? I don't. I'm the guy who thought he was going to have at least a decade to settle in at 11:35 every night and watch one of the funniest, most endearing men on television do his thing, and look where that's got me.

In closing, Mr. O'Brien will be back and better than ever and he will have my support and the support of millions of people just like me who thought what happened to him was tragically absurd. I wish he and his crew the best over the coming days, weeks and months that I am positive will be incredibly difficult. As always, I will forever be a member of "Team CoCo," and to cop a phrase from Mr. O'Brien himself, "please, don't be cynical... work hard and be kind and you will achieve things you've never dreamed of." Truer words have never been spoken.

Thanks for the years of laughs, Mr. O'Brien. These next seven months are going to be a bear... a "masturbating bear" if you will.