Goodbye, Old Friend.

*spoilers ahead, if you have not seen the finale of LOST please stop reading immediately!*

Since 2007 I have not been able to listen to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" without becoming flooded by a tidal wave of conflicting emotions. I feel angry, happy, sad, nostalgically reminiscent, cynical, curious and disappointed. It all meshes together pretty well, and not too long after hearing the song I start to get the itch to hunker down and watch "The Sopranos" again for the second, third or millionth time. In my head I see Tony sitting in the booth at the diner waiting for his ungrateful -if not entirely righteous in their indignation- family make their way towards him amidst various shady characters that may or may not be about to shoot them all. Then, the abrupt cut to black, lack of audio, a brief moment of "what the hell just happened" and roll credits. Did I mention this happens every time? Well, it does, because "The Sopranos" was for me something akin to a religious experience. It wasn't that I loved watching mobsters shoot each other or anything like that; I didn't play the "who gets whacked this week" game with my friends. I loved the story, the characters, the moral ambiguity and the style it was all produced in. To this day, I have not seen a better television show before or since -yet "Mad Men" is starting to encroach on sacred ground, if you ask me- Tony and his glorified crew of New Jersey goombahs showed up on HBO 11 years ago. I miss "The Sopranos" almost every day. Where some people rant and rave about "The Wire" (and rightly so, from what I've heard and seen) there is just something about "The Sopranos" and the way it ended that has continued to make it an interesting show long past it's expiration date rolled on by.

For all the criticism the end of "The Sopranos" received from critics and fans alike, I've got a feeling the ending of "Lost" is going to be the one that might actually get people to throw hands in the street over differing opinions. It's just something about the fans of "Lost" that makes me think there is going to be a zeitgeist fueled backlash that may or may not cause meta-riots in the para-streets between all the different factions of fanboys and girls out there.

Where the ending of "The Sopranos" was challenging and required one to be of an open mind; the ending of "Lost" was like a watermelon, de-seeded and pre-sliced served up on a platter. They myriad enigmatic plot twists, story arcs and characters that the show had become known for and very rightly praised over were thrown away in favor of making the finale accessible and understandable even to the most casual fan. That, to me, is a vicious cop out that was completely and totally unnecessary for a show that had been such a game changer over the course of the past 6 years. Still, I can't say I hated it though, and in looking back over the history of the show I would be remiss if I didn't say there were some terribly klunky episodes that left me feeling like I'd wasted 45 minutes of my life looking at an emotionless, overly complicated mess (read: any "Kate-centric" episode... you all know they were terrible).

Sacrificing some quality for the sake of advancing the shows plot lines had been something I'd grown too complacent about over the years. I'd sigh at the end of a particularly ridiculous, out of context episode and remind myself that "Lost" is different and it's all leading towards something bigger -or more confusing- than anything else network TV has ever tried to accomplish, and for the most part that's exactly what the show did. It overreached and, at times, underachieved, but it was all ok because it was so freaking interesting and engrossing and the cheese actually tasted pretty good once you really got into the show. I didn't care how many times Kate got her own episode because I knew a Ben and Locke episode was around the corner to make up for it, and, hey, Kate was a pretty important part of the show (for a while), it's just that her character was less interesting to me than a tuft of grass on a lonely desert plain. I'm sure others out there would disagree with me vehemently, and that's their right and that's another aspect of "Lost" that made the show so unique and so groundbreaking.

The discussions, arguments and theories that swirled around "Lost" from the second the world first heard the smoke monster and saw the trees tremble in his wake during the pilot are like nothing television has ever seen before. Add in the allegory, allusion and metaphor that the show was jam packed with and there was so much interpretation left to the audience that it was almost impossible not to get sucked in and go beyond the weekly offerings. People, meaning rabid fans, would scour the internet and actually research the symbols and meanings and names of fictional things happening on a fictional show that took place on an island that, we now know, was some sort of mystical stop-gap that prevented evil from seeping out into the world and eventually destroying it. The writers played into this extremely well, leaving clues and hints and little Easter eggs tucked into scenes that the keen eyed fans would notice and obsess over. It was, honestly, the perfect show for the internet age and, shockingly, despite the instant gratification nature of the net generation, remained an utterly unsolvable mystery to the majority of the people who watched it week in and week out. Really, that's just amazing stuff when you put your thinking cap on and give it a good once over in your mind grapes.

I don't do recap write-ups, so I'll spare my sparse audience the tedium of a play-by-play in favor of touching upon some of the moving and more important moments of the finale that will have me thinking for the rest of my life.

First off, congratulations to Hurley for being named the island's protector, it was an entirely deserved moment and one that made me extremely happy despite the fact that I and the rest of the world did not get to see one single, solitary second of Hurley in charge other than him asking Ben to be his number 2. It was really astounding to see "the voice of the audience" get to take the reigns and become the new Jacob. As much as I said to myself over the course of the final season, "I wish it would be Hurley," I had little to no hope that it would really happen, but I was wrong and the world of "Lost" is a much better place for it. The actors (Jorge Garcia and Michael Emerson) were brilliant as usual, and the final scene when Hurley asks Ben to come inside the church before telling him he was a "good number 2" was really touching and, had it been between say, Sawyer and Sayid would have been much less ingratiating. This aspect of the finale I was super, super happy with (if you can't already tell).

Speaking of Sawyer...

... I have, since the first time James Ford said "sonofabitch" in an exasperated way, been an unabashed fan of the character and hugely impressed by the actor (Josh Holloway), and when he and Juliette finally re-met in the sideways-verse I lost control and started gulp-crying like a little gilr who just watched her pony get run over by an 18-wheeler. For a character that was so reserved and somewhat guarded throughout the entire run of the show, seeing him let go like that was more moving than I was prepared for. Even though, on the whole, I'm not the biggest fan of Juliette I wanted Sawyer to find happiness somewhere since the agony was as plain as the nose on his face when she died. It was nice to see him get what he wanted, even though he had to die to find it.

Right, by the way, the sideways-verse? Yeah, turns out that was some kind of holding pen for the characters until they made their way into the bright, shiny light or something. Ugh, I wanted to kick a small child when Christian Shepherd came in at the end and gave the heavy-handed, all to easy to stomach wrap up that explained what the hell was going on. It was just a stupid, gimmicky season long thing that was used to make the audience think something was happening when it really wasn't. To be blunt, it pissed me off in such a unique way that I'm still trying to come up with the correct phrasing; which I am, currently, failing at. I suppose for a show that has been so confusing a little levity and straightforwardness was needed, but I was hoping that wouldn't have been the case. I didn't need all the questions to be answered (and they weren't), but it would have been nice to see the ending be a little more ambiguous and, -sigh-, action packed instead of the bland, emotionless meeting in the church that bordered on shiny-town. I'll get over it, but it bugged me.

Honestly, everything else that happened in the finale was something... well, it was something. I can't put my finger on any other moments that had me jumping out of my seat or feeling really, truly compelled to care for what was happening onscreen, because it all felt sort of dead (no pun intended) about 45 minutes in. I have no clue why UnLocke was killed so early on when it seemed like the entire season was gearing up towards some sort of full out war between he and Jack's diminutive group of followers, but that didn't happen, it was an anti-climax punctuated by a pretty sweet jump-punch from Jack to UnLocke; which I mistook as the beginning of an awesome fight scene on a quivering, about to fall into the ocean cliff. I didn't really care about Lapidus or Miles or Richard getting to the plane and getting off the island, because I never really cared about Lapidus or Miles or Richard to begin with; it was another ancillary plot shoe-horned in -in my opinion- to pad out the season. Meh that's really all I have, a resounding meh and a lot of undeserved resentment for a show that has entertained me consistently and piqued my interest and imagination continuously since it's inception.

I really shouldn't complain, because "Lost" was such a great, great show over the course of it's time on the air that to sit here and nitpick over the finale would be unfair to the people who wrote it, produced it, acted in it and directed it; those people really deserve all the praise and adoration in the world for putting together such a fantastic show. My own, snarky opinions of the finale aside, "Lost" was special and not too long from now I'm going to look back and really, really miss it. I'll be out at a bar one night when someone will put The Mamma's and The Poppa's "Make Your Own Kind of Music" on and I'll need to scuttle home to pop in the DVD and start the journey all over again, because, after all, that's what it's about isn't it?

So Close, Yet So Far Away

Well, here we are, reader. Less than a month away from the premier of Lost and as I expected time has slowed to a crawl. It doesn't help that, starting on Sunday during another of the myriad snow storms Rochester has been plagued with over the past two weeks, the love of my life and I started to re-watch Season Five in an effort to jog our collective memories while getting seriously pumped up for the start of the sixth and final season of the best serialized television show on network television. This is one of those rare, TV geek moments that I've only experienced a few times: knowing that a show I've come to love so much is going to end once the next season is over. I dealt with it when The Sopranos stopped believin', I choked back rage fueled tears when Freaks and Geeks was prematurely canceled, and I cried, sadly and forlornly as my beloved Arrested Development was cut down in it's prime. But, at the same time, I'm legitimately stoked for the final season of Lost, if only because some of those lingering, unanswerable questions are (at the very least) going to be addressed if not outright explained. That, my friend, is the ultimate payoff for a show that, since 2004, has done more to confuse, enrage, annoy and entertain than any other "Big 3" network drama I can think of... ever.

Lost is, and always has been, about the characters and what they do when they are put in a certain situation - either of their own free will, or by some act of four-toed god like intervention - whether it is Sawyer's (Josh Holloway) internal battle over what to do when the man he's been seeking to confront his entire life is, almost literally, plopped down in front of him in the most unlikely place he could have imagined, or whether it's Kate's (Evangeline Lilly) less than thoughtful, but oh so right, decision to run as fast as she can when her past transgressions - on and off the island - start to chase her down. Lost is an incredible look into the human condition wrapped inside a science-fiction-philosophy that hasn't been so thoroughly explored since the earliest days of Star Trek, and even the mighty James Tiberius Kirk would be overwhelmed by all riddles the island forces its inhabitants to solve (Spock, on the other hand, would be just fine).

"Did that bird just say 'Hurley?' F_ck it, beam me up, Scotty."

As for myself, I've tried - way too often - to sift through the clues, the folklore and the mythology surrounding Lost and the only conclusion I've been able to come to is this: Dude. Yes, I go full Hurley (Jorge Garcia) whenever I try to sit down and figure out just exactly what the hell is happening, how it happened, where it started, who started it and how it's going to end, because there is (literally) too much happening for me to comprehend all at once, and I fully expect there to be numerous master level courses that pop up around universities the world over that delve into Lost with all the reckless abandon academia has to offer as the full cultural impact of the show will be revealed, sadly, when it's all said and done. Lost is an important and necessary television show in this day and age when far too many people have far too many answers readily available at the push of a button. Where Mad Men is a constant, sullen reminder of the way things "used to be," Lost is that rare show that has the audacity to show it's viewers the way things "aught to be." It's not Walden 2 by any means, and it doesn't dare to imagine itself as a utopia of any sort, but because it dives into the deep end of human relationships and couples it with action, mystery and the all encompassing "science versus faith" debate that rages on in the subtext of every pivotal scene of the show, and does so without abject bias one way or the other, Lost has managed to give us all the gift of contemplation.

We, the viewer, are forced to pay attention and we are forced to (shudder) think for ourselves. That doesn't happen very often anymore. With shows like The Hills and the train wreck that is Jersey Shore becoming ever more popular with not just the youth of current culture, but the adults as well, Lost has veered violently in the other direction. Sure, it has everything any fan of television would find interesting (action, adventure, drama, romance, a smoke monster and Hurley), but that's just on the ground level; which isn't to say you can't get fully engrossed in Lost on a very simple plane, but it's so much better, and so much more entertaining when you actually pay attention, because you pick things up - often times subliminally - and you start to legitimately understand the direction of the show, what it's trying to get across to the audience and where it's headed.

Why does Benjamin Linus (Michael Emerson) do the things he does? Is he just a man living in a fog of ambiguous morality that only acts to serve himself and his desires? Or, is Ben more than that? Is he truly evil, or is he one the good guys? The answer is just as much of a riddle as the character himself, and I don't see how it's possible to enjoy the show the way it's meant to be enjoyed if you don't constantly ask yourself these questions while pondering the impossible to come by solution. The same can be said of any of Lost's main characters, and even it's relatively minor characters are mired by questionable actions and shady intent. The "hero" of the show, Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox) has had his ups and downs and, at times, acted like a petulant little child when he hasn't gotten his way, taken to the bottle and prescription narcotics as a means of coping with his insecurities and sometimes gone off in the wrong direction without ever taking the time to think about it. That's his challenge as a character. When the "hero" is supposed to be a Hero, will he live up to that moniker or will he slink away into some Benzedrine dream, never to be seen or heard from again? Of course, as of the end of season 5, we all know where Jack's loyalties lie and it's not really surprising considering his development. Jack will always be Jack, for better or worse he thinks of himself as the savior of the people on the island he feels duty bound to protect. It's a pro and a con, a positive and a negative, and it is exactly what makes Lost as engrossing an experience as it is. We, the audience, never really know what's happening and we are constantly guessing who is "good" and who is "bad" when we should really be thinking "what's next?"

I remember, a long time ago, reading that the joy of a mystery isn't in the solving but, rather, in the surprise. I know there can be endless amounts of fun trying to figure things out when it comes to Lost, because that's the way the show is designed. It's meant to confuse, annoy and entertain all at the same time, and it does so with such conviction and style that sometimes the impact takes days or weeks to settle in; which is why it must be viewed so often and paid attention to so carefully. As much as I wish I had a Holmesian mind that could detect, deduce and define even the most pithy piece of evidence, I'm glad that I don't, because if I could figure out how Lost was going to end without the benefit of taking the ride, the show in and of itself would cease to be as important as it is and all the wonderful thrills and the hammer to the back of the head like jolts that accompany all of the "big reveals" that have happened in the past and the ones coming on the horizon would have little to no effect, and Lost would be just another TV show. Thankfully, that's not the case. Thankfully I've resigned myself to "just let it go, man" when it comes to figuring out the labyrinthine twists and turns of the plot, and the true nature of the individual characters. I don't want to ruin the last season, not even by mistake, and if a co-worker or friend decides to let slip a spoiler, I will pummel them with all my nerd-rage fueled might!

Just like on the show, my perception of time has become relative to my position on the grid. With Winter rearing it's ugly head in the general direction of my well being, I'm forced to stay indoors and while away the hours wondering "what's next" and "where do we go from here?" As much as I'm enjoying re-watching season 5 of Lost, I'm getting impatient and I'm getting hungry to move forward towards the endgame that is going to (I expect) play out wonderfully over the next few months, and this has made my perception of time slow to a crawl. The anticipation, the quixotic nature of my own mental capacity and my desire to be shocked and awed is starting to take it's toll. I know it's just a TV show, and I'm aware that my pining is something bordering on "too geeky to function properly in society," but I don't really care. 2010 is going to be about embracing your inner nerd, it's going to be about loving the things you love openly and often, and Lost is one of those things. As much as it's going to hurt to see it go, I can't wait to find out what's going to happen.

*A brief note from the author to the reader*
Please, please, please do not spoil anything related to Lost for me as the final season unravels. I won't be reading ahead on any websites that I normally check for updates, and I won't be diving into lostpedia.org like I have in the past to play catch-up when something escapes my understanding. I will not respond with grace, dignity or aplomb and will most like spaz out pretty badly. Take, for example, this line from 30 Rock's Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) which was supposed to be a joke, "I met JJ Abrams once, and I don't know what this means, but he said that the island was just Hurley's dream." I know that was supposed to be funny, but my reaction was not. I was pissed. My jaw dropped and I gasped aloud as I thought of ways to punish Jenna for letting slip something so spoiltastic as that. So, please be kind and don't ruin the surprise. Just, like, you know, let it go, man.