1 - Comics React Poorly To Stolen Material, But It Is Justified
Recently I blogged about the trials and tribulations my favorite open-mic in the world is going through with a certain dicknosed individual named Shmantonio who has been blatantly stealing material from, of all people, Martin "Shanaynay" Lawrence.
Sure, why not?Since that fateful night not that long ago when the plagiarism bells rang loud and clear at Boulder Coffee Co. in Rochester, NY the open mic has gotten darker, more rambunctious and a lot more fun to be part of. There's something genuinely amazing about a room full of angry comics that causes them to bond and become friends even if they didn't especially like each other before, because we all suddenly realize the hard work we put into our jokes (even the stupid ones are written, rewritten, edited again and told to our significant others at least 16 times before making it to the stage, for the most part) is something to unite us. It's a struggle to make 5-7 minutes of stand-up good enough to make people who may or may not be paying attention stop what they're doing and laugh. So the shared ire, the shared anger at the idea that some dickfaced piece of shit would walk in, rip off someone who was incredibly popular while most of us were growing up and get angry when he was busted is something the real comedians, the ones who write their own sets out and cry themselves to sleep when they don't work, can point to and say "well, at least I'm not Shmantonio, because he's a jackass." (It should be noted to my readers that this Sunday is Shmantonio's last chance to prove he can write his own stuff and not crib from other prominent comedians, should he fail he will be banned for life. Them's the breaks, budding stand-ups, know this particular rule extremely well or you'll find yourself on the outside looking in incredibly quickly.)
2 - Writing Jokes That Make Other People Laugh Is Really Hard
The biggest piece of advice I would ever give to someone who wants to take a crack at stand-up is to write as many of your ideas down as possible and to try them out on the general public (at work, school, etc. wherever it is appropriate) and not sitting around with your friends, girlfriends, boyfriends or family, because that is not an objective audience.
Your friends and significant others are too nice and too hard wired to encourage you to give you the real skinny on whether or not what you're saying is funny. What I'm trying to say is they'll laugh at anything you preface with "I just wrote this joke," or "I'm thinking of trying stand-up, what do you think of this?" This doesn't mean what you have written isn't funny, by the way, it just means you're getting a reaction that isn't as genuine as what you'll get your first time on stage (which is terrifying in the best way possible) from an audience who is unsuspecting and absolutely will not laugh if you aren't funny. But, if you're around the water cooler and have a work appropriate joke you want to try out on a few of your coworkers go ahead and do it, because they won't know what's coming and it'll be a real laugh as opposed to a "hey you're my friend and I like you so I'm going to laugh" laugh. Just be ready to fail, even at work, because awkward silence following a joke whether you're on stage or off is just plain terrible.
3 - Make Friends With People, It Makes Your Life Easier
The stupidest thing I did when I started stand-up the first time around was to not make any efforts to reach out and get to know any of the other comedians at the various open mics around town. Sure I would see the same people week in and week out and they would see me, but I was a little too ahead of my self and overly cocksure about my abilities, so I stayed on the sidelines watching and nodding my head and never ever went up to anybody and said, "Hi, I'm Jim, I really liked your set tonight;" which I will do now at the drop of hat if someone gets me to laugh. This is how I got to know Bryan J. Ball, Billy T. Anglin, Vinnie Paulino, Jeremy Eli, Wes Bauer and Dan Maslyn, who are now some of my favorite people in the world (it doesn't hurt that they are just as funny off stage as they are on stage).
Now, I can't sit still during open mics and shows when all my friends are there because I'm up and around talking and joking in the wings or outside having a beer with Billy and Jeremy while we discuss some of the finer points of a cleverly crafted fart joke. Or 3 or 4 of us are standing near the stage, watching someone try out new material for the first time that we haven't seen, and oddly (unless it's terrible in which case we're pretty brutal to each other) we're all very supportive and helpful.
That's pretty much true across the board. If you're friendly, supportive and even the least bit funny and you reach out to some of the comics you see week in and week out the chances are they'll be equally as friendly and supportive. It helps more with the actual craft of doing stand-up than I can put into words, but riffing back and forth about something trivial at a bar on a Thursday night has spawned more great ideas for jokes than I can ever remember happening while on my couch, alone watching TV.
4 - Do Not Rush Yourself
It is very possible for people in stand-up to get very big in a very short amount of time, but it's also incredibly rare. Even in Rochester, NY I've seen people go from first timer at an open mic to getting paid shows in a few months to traveling across the North East from college to college making pretty good money, but, like I said, that doesn't happen too often.
What you should expect is to take your time honing your material as often as possible to the best of your abilities. This could take weeks, months or even years before you're at a level where you'll be able to travel the college, club or coffee house circuit getting paid somewhat decent money. I recently re-watched the documentary Comedian starring Jerry Seinfeld (ever heard of him?) and something he said really stuck with me. Keep in mind this is Jerry Seinfeld, creator of "The Marriage Ref," who said "6 months is not a long time to put together an hour of material." 6 months seems like forever when you're new to the game and trying to get your name out there and, eventually, get paid, but you're not Jerry Seinfeld. So don't expect to have 30 minutes of material immediately. Shoot, don't expect to have 10 minutes of material immediately. Get your 5-7 honed to as near perfect as you can and, when you can do that without feeling like there were saggy bits in your set, start writing longer sets out.
To be honest, I probably have 30-40 minutes of jokes written right now, but only about 10-12 minutes of performable material; which is going to be an issue in the not to distant future if I move forward in this comedy contest I'm participating in right now which would require me to do 20-30 for the first time in my life. Nervous as hell? Yes. Yes I am... but that leads me into...
5 - Embrace Those Nerves, They Are Your Friends
You're going to be nervous your first few times (I, to this day, am still nervous for the first minute of any set) and that's totally fine, but remember that those nerves are a sort of adrenaline shooting through your body, and they are there to help. Harness them as best you can and redirect them back into your stage presence. Unless you're trying to have a nervous, jittery stage persona, in which case, carry on.
6. - At Some Point You'll Just Know What You're Doing
I am not at this level yet, but it's coming on fast. I've been doing very well the past few weeks and I even made it into the aforementioned comedy contest with 7 other local comics (out of 25 that auditioned) and that was a sign that things are moving in the right direction, but I have not had an overwhelming flood of confidence hit me yet which has been described to me as an "ah ha" moment when everything just clicked into place and the person on stage new exactly what they were doing, how to do it and felt great in the process. I've been very close to this, but I know it hasn't really happened yet, but hey, I'm in no rush.
7 - Hey, A Cliche! Just Have Fun With It.
My friend Billy asks me after every set if I "had fun" or not. Usually, I do, but there have been moments where it's been the opposite of fun and it shows in every little tic. Stand-up is such a strange form of entertainment in that 1 person has complete and total control over everything that's going on in the room. If you're nervous? The audience is nervous with you. If you're happy? The audience is happy. If you're stealing jokes because you're an asshole and the comics off stage are getting pissed off? That anger seeps into the crowds mindset, I'm not even kidding, it's like a disease that has become airborne and Shmantonio is the outbreak monkey killing us all slowly with his pilfered material. You don't want that to happen all the time, though it can be fun when the momentum shifts from anger to goofy agitation and beer drinking.
2 - Writing Jokes That Make Other People Laugh Is Really Hard
The biggest piece of advice I would ever give to someone who wants to take a crack at stand-up is to write as many of your ideas down as possible and to try them out on the general public (at work, school, etc. wherever it is appropriate) and not sitting around with your friends, girlfriends, boyfriends or family, because that is not an objective audience.
Your friends and significant others are too nice and too hard wired to encourage you to give you the real skinny on whether or not what you're saying is funny. What I'm trying to say is they'll laugh at anything you preface with "I just wrote this joke," or "I'm thinking of trying stand-up, what do you think of this?" This doesn't mean what you have written isn't funny, by the way, it just means you're getting a reaction that isn't as genuine as what you'll get your first time on stage (which is terrifying in the best way possible) from an audience who is unsuspecting and absolutely will not laugh if you aren't funny. But, if you're around the water cooler and have a work appropriate joke you want to try out on a few of your coworkers go ahead and do it, because they won't know what's coming and it'll be a real laugh as opposed to a "hey you're my friend and I like you so I'm going to laugh" laugh. Just be ready to fail, even at work, because awkward silence following a joke whether you're on stage or off is just plain terrible.
3 - Make Friends With People, It Makes Your Life Easier
The stupidest thing I did when I started stand-up the first time around was to not make any efforts to reach out and get to know any of the other comedians at the various open mics around town. Sure I would see the same people week in and week out and they would see me, but I was a little too ahead of my self and overly cocksure about my abilities, so I stayed on the sidelines watching and nodding my head and never ever went up to anybody and said, "Hi, I'm Jim, I really liked your set tonight;" which I will do now at the drop of hat if someone gets me to laugh. This is how I got to know Bryan J. Ball, Billy T. Anglin, Vinnie Paulino, Jeremy Eli, Wes Bauer and Dan Maslyn, who are now some of my favorite people in the world (it doesn't hurt that they are just as funny off stage as they are on stage).
Now, I can't sit still during open mics and shows when all my friends are there because I'm up and around talking and joking in the wings or outside having a beer with Billy and Jeremy while we discuss some of the finer points of a cleverly crafted fart joke. Or 3 or 4 of us are standing near the stage, watching someone try out new material for the first time that we haven't seen, and oddly (unless it's terrible in which case we're pretty brutal to each other) we're all very supportive and helpful.
That's pretty much true across the board. If you're friendly, supportive and even the least bit funny and you reach out to some of the comics you see week in and week out the chances are they'll be equally as friendly and supportive. It helps more with the actual craft of doing stand-up than I can put into words, but riffing back and forth about something trivial at a bar on a Thursday night has spawned more great ideas for jokes than I can ever remember happening while on my couch, alone watching TV.
4 - Do Not Rush Yourself
It is very possible for people in stand-up to get very big in a very short amount of time, but it's also incredibly rare. Even in Rochester, NY I've seen people go from first timer at an open mic to getting paid shows in a few months to traveling across the North East from college to college making pretty good money, but, like I said, that doesn't happen too often.
What you should expect is to take your time honing your material as often as possible to the best of your abilities. This could take weeks, months or even years before you're at a level where you'll be able to travel the college, club or coffee house circuit getting paid somewhat decent money. I recently re-watched the documentary Comedian starring Jerry Seinfeld (ever heard of him?) and something he said really stuck with me. Keep in mind this is Jerry Seinfeld, creator of "The Marriage Ref," who said "6 months is not a long time to put together an hour of material." 6 months seems like forever when you're new to the game and trying to get your name out there and, eventually, get paid, but you're not Jerry Seinfeld. So don't expect to have 30 minutes of material immediately. Shoot, don't expect to have 10 minutes of material immediately. Get your 5-7 honed to as near perfect as you can and, when you can do that without feeling like there were saggy bits in your set, start writing longer sets out.
To be honest, I probably have 30-40 minutes of jokes written right now, but only about 10-12 minutes of performable material; which is going to be an issue in the not to distant future if I move forward in this comedy contest I'm participating in right now which would require me to do 20-30 for the first time in my life. Nervous as hell? Yes. Yes I am... but that leads me into...
5 - Embrace Those Nerves, They Are Your Friends
You're going to be nervous your first few times (I, to this day, am still nervous for the first minute of any set) and that's totally fine, but remember that those nerves are a sort of adrenaline shooting through your body, and they are there to help. Harness them as best you can and redirect them back into your stage presence. Unless you're trying to have a nervous, jittery stage persona, in which case, carry on.
6. - At Some Point You'll Just Know What You're Doing
I am not at this level yet, but it's coming on fast. I've been doing very well the past few weeks and I even made it into the aforementioned comedy contest with 7 other local comics (out of 25 that auditioned) and that was a sign that things are moving in the right direction, but I have not had an overwhelming flood of confidence hit me yet which has been described to me as an "ah ha" moment when everything just clicked into place and the person on stage new exactly what they were doing, how to do it and felt great in the process. I've been very close to this, but I know it hasn't really happened yet, but hey, I'm in no rush.
7 - Hey, A Cliche! Just Have Fun With It.
My friend Billy asks me after every set if I "had fun" or not. Usually, I do, but there have been moments where it's been the opposite of fun and it shows in every little tic. Stand-up is such a strange form of entertainment in that 1 person has complete and total control over everything that's going on in the room. If you're nervous? The audience is nervous with you. If you're happy? The audience is happy. If you're stealing jokes because you're an asshole and the comics off stage are getting pissed off? That anger seeps into the crowds mindset, I'm not even kidding, it's like a disease that has become airborne and Shmantonio is the outbreak monkey killing us all slowly with his pilfered material. You don't want that to happen all the time, though it can be fun when the momentum shifts from anger to goofy agitation and beer drinking.
There you have it, reader, make of my shitty pearls of wisdom what you will.
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